S10 // "L4TEST L3AK 21" / "ALIENS: COLONIAL MARINES" GAME REVIEW...

//POR RIKI LEE// 15 FEBRERO / 13....

 IN FULL - ENGLISH....."ALIENS: COLONIAL MARINES" EPISODE 5:  "THIS GAME IS TRULY SOOOOO OVER!!!!!!"....

 Where should I start this review of this heap of sh1t of plastic?  This game.....is an absolute slap to the face of any hardcore "ALIENS" fan.  Besides taking too many liberties with the already established storyline, they dare dish it out a rather pale imitation of what a true "ALIENS" game should be...

 O.K. I'll give ACTIVISION and SEGA credit for fixing up the controls which were a major flaw in the previous ALIEN THEMED GAMES - i.e. "ALIEN vs. PREDATOR" - but still, I can't get over the fact that with such technology available, the texture skins on everything.....look like they were pirated BETA rather than a full - on game.

 The AI in the game is something laughable instead of something that might be useful in a game, where as in your AI partner is always jerking off somewhere instead of helping you in the middle of a firefight.  Even mid - gameplay, the AI controlled team partner glitches off to nowhere and apears out of thin air... 

 The voice acting is something that you would expect out of a B - MOVIE, which makes this game even harder to stand....and again, brings me to the point I made a while ago.. IT FEELS LIKE ITS A MOTHERføCK1NG BETA...

  Now, there are things that are kind of cool...like the soundtrack, which is better than the actual gameplay....And this game does support CO - OP and MULTI - PLAYER...

 THE COVER ART on the BOX fools you into thinking this is an AWESOME GAME...BUT....... DUDE.. THIS IS MOTHERfø(K1NG BULLSHIT!!

 They actualy brought back Corporal Hicks and Bishop ( voiced by "ALIENS" ACTORS Michael Biehn and Lance Henriksen ).....Oh yeah, they did.....BUT THE SKINS THEY USED LOOK LIKE SOMEONE SH1T THEM OUT AFTER A NIGHT OF ROUGH SEX, which brings me back to a point here.....Michael Biehn is in this load of sh1t......Dwayne Hicks is back in action...and as he says in the game "LONG STORY" and too little time...

 They pulled a fast one on us, or so they think in the game....Hicks explains that he was replaced before hitting Fury 161, and the body that is shown in the movie is not Hicks´ body at all......WHAT????   When the hell did this happened...when the CRYO TUBES where Ripley, Newt and Bishop were...mysteriously changed between films from SULACO to NOSTROMO TYPE???

 O.K.  So here we go....With the laughable storyline - 14 weeks after the initial message sent by CPL. Dwayne Hicks, the SULACO is found by a rescue team sent into investigate what happened to the ship...

 The SULACO is boarded by the new team of marines where the investigation leads to the discovery of WEYLAND YUTANI - and its ever long quest to fø(K up humanity in one way or another - doing its typical experiments with the ever so famous XENOMORPHS....So.. to make a long tedious story shorter, you play as CPL. CHRISTOPHER WINTER as you go through the remains of the SULACO, LV - 426 and Hadley´s Hope ( which as we know WERE BLOWN to dust in a nuclear bomb explosion THE SIZE OF NEBRASKA ).....

 Along with the GLITCHY and troublesome ( THIS MOTHErfU(K3R CAN WALK YOU THROUGH WALLS!!! ), the character Peter O'Neil ( who looks like the UNDERTAKER from WWE ) chases down Michael Weyland for all the chaos he has brought forth onto the crew of the SEPHORA....

 All in all this game gets a 2 1/2 out of 5 and I am being very nice because this game has 
MULTI - PLAYER and that's it....AND FOR ANOTHER OPINION.....

GAMESPOT REVIEW:  "ALIENS: COLONIAL MARINES" VIDEO REVIEW....